Letting go of what hurts may be difficult but it's possible. Not every day is fireworks and high school passion, my love. The aftermath, says Emma, was brutal. Im a good person, loving, caring, giving and trustworthy. You will get all the blame and even find yourself thinking maybe it WAS your fault ! I am an amazing husband and I am taking it all wrong. We separated, married other people, which we both confessed to each were the wrong people. But I still love her, more than those words could ever describe. I am dealing with the reality that Ill see my son a lot less. Dear Tim I swear up and down that I wont go back with her but I know that her not taking her meds had a lot to do with us separating. When I first found out he said he would never leave me but now she has said she cant live undercover. Its rough but in the long run we will be better off. Military will have his butt for Infidelity. Living in forgiveness will free you from some of the hurt in your divorce and allow you to move forward more healthily. Theres a reason to leave someone. At some point its not worth wondering about your spouse because you can never really rationalize behavior that stems from this kind of illness. But I felt like he had used me and that he had only married me to have a life he would otherwise never have had. I myself currently struggle financially since leaving and I am facing losing everything at the moment, but I never give up hope. They went thru my things and took things my mother gave me, when I finally was able to get what was left of my things they out garbage, household garbage, condoms, sex stuff in my things. She didnt, at 35 she was sneaking off to smoke cigarettes (I was a smoker, she was not, I quit 6 years ago). But I never wouldve left. Time and time again I would say things that she would take hurtful or mean. She claims to have been feeling this way for a year, but what hurts is that she not only didnt tell me, but she has used all 5 of those reasons listed. We made each other laugh every day, we goofed off an had fun. Wow!!! He us definitely a narcissist. We saw your comment and are sorry to hear you are experiencing this difficulty. Thank you I needed to hear this because my relationship is in trouble and Im so in love with him, Uvette She asked me to move out by text saying she wanted bigger and better. We have a daughter, and kids cant keep a marriage together. You can use our website to search for another therapist in your area by entering your ZIP code here: You might also consider discussing any concerns you might have with your therapist with that therapist directly. Just found out my husband of almost 9 years is cheating on me online with a gay person. This I also discovered. I had two children who needs to complete their dreams. I dont know if anyone will ever love me again! Sex left the building and life really took over and the issue of lack of intimacy would come up always from her as to why how come we never have sex anymore and then over more time, and even after attending marriage counselling together it never did get resolved. My Dad is strong, and my Mother is even stronger. I stopped for a quart of ice cream on my way home from work today, ugh. Now 17 months later he leave us. The more you attempt to this the farther you push your spouse toward what the evil wanted to begin with, loneliness, despair, and hurt. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069. I dont know what to do, pls I desperately need help. I am so hurt. I dont know what makes it better. I was abandoned by my wife of 10 years this last April after I discovered her sexual affairs with several men. So, basically this proves to me she was using me for some time, which (while devastating perhaps) allows me to at least be thankful she isnt, and cant anymore. I was upset and he kept making fun of me and saying that he just follows the kids and that he is not waiting until the princess is happy. It sounds like hes pretty unhappy, and possibly with himself. Im sorry but she has a mind of her own and can make her own mind. Its so weird! I had told her that she needs help and that I was going to tell doctor about her abusing these pills. I lost 11 lbs in less than 2 weeks. We loved like I have never experienced. You have to understand that this is a painful process, and its going to take time. Both child services and the police realized the inaccuracies and now I have our son full time. I agree with this article, but the hardest one is this. And protect yourself because if shes not looking out for you you need to. I did what every online blog said not to do. in the last few weeks i have asked him one or twice if being with me is what he wants and he said of course and we have had some really lovely days together, the night before we split up we had not a blazing row as such but it was the way things were said that was the problem not what was actually said, he woke the next morning left for work and text me saying he thinks I should go back to my parents house, maybe the living together situation isnt working out and then began to say he thinks we shouldnt be together he doesnt know what he wants he loves me but hates the fact we keep arguing and dont seem to get along the way we use to. I dont understand whats happened in these last 2 weeks. Like being inside of Hitlers mind. She misses hosting family gatherings, although she still attends them at her husbands house. With a few self-care tips and a whole lot of. Im not comparing my experience, but evil is evil no matter what level it is onAgain Thanks for your response. Sorry for your situation i am also dealing with a similar situation I was just told by a woman I have been with for 9 years who is also the mother of our 5yo daughter that we will not be getting married next month as planned she will be getting married to someone else this was completely out of no where considering the past five mo have been nothing but me working no less than 80 hours a week as many as 120 just killing myself to build our house and support our family not only did she leave me alone on Christmas she took my daughter and went to be with this man thats older than her granparents she refused to give me a few hours wth my kid Christmas Day eventually I took my daughter that evening thing I cant figure is she was telling everyone of our apparent wedding date and spending all my money saying how she loves me so much and cant wait to be married just hours before she decided it was not what she wants now being in a smaller town immediately everyone knows i felt really low like Im young and have my own business I felt like I was doin ok trying to build a future and she leaves me for an old man I was not only heartbroken but also felt so embarrassed ashamed angry I couldnt even pick my head up I couldnt look anyone in the eye it has been pretty much the most humiliating horrible thing I have ever experienced as a recovering addict I hit a low that far exceeded my worst days of being a herion addict at this point Im still in what ppl wold consider a risky time period for relaps however its just not an option i just refuse to go back to that miserable exestiance being fully clean I felt alive for the first time in years I was feeling happier than Id ever been my life was going great I just couldnt be thankful enough I was at an all time high in life my daughter was just doing great got my business going beautiful woman life was just perfect and then it happened hit a low I never knew where did this come from this woman I trusted with my life how could she just leave me I never thought I could feel so horrible using has not been an issue I know the outcome and I dont need it never got a sorry or nothing not a dam thing it just goes on an on the things got worse and worse big mess she just wont stop trying to ruin my life point is my friend I made really do love this woman more than I can express but I have chosen to sever this wicked witch from my life other than picking up or dropping off my kid as much as it hurts not to fight for her she must not love anyone but herself if she is so willing to risk putting my daughter into a broken home possibility of triggering relapse that will certainly end my life the shame she puts on all of us the lies told for months in church to her parents that happen to be the most amazing ppl I have ever known broke their hearts as well due to their religious stand point and the relationship I have with them this was very disappointing to them disappointed is an understatement I actually was feeling bad about how much it hurt them I couldnt believe it these ppl loved me and their grandchild so much that it really really destroyed their hopes after all they had done to help us get our lives together including the financial means to build a house that was for the three of us something I could not have ever imagined living in without them I originally was doing the house just to help them do whatever they wanted to do with it but then they were just like by the way when its done you guys can have it we only worked nights weekends on it because I never would let them pay me even when I had no idea they would give it to us just because they had already done so much for me in the years I been with their daughter one of the harder things about loosing my girl was that I love her parents like they were my own and I have for many years through all this nothing will ever change between her parents and myself that is a big help I try not to be angry its not been but a matter of days Im up and down I just cant be with a woman that is so selfish and put my daughter through any more than she has endured she has been through enough and I dont have time to give my relationship it all needs to focus on my daughter not to mention that her mother has not shown or made any indication that she is sorry or even willing to come back if you feel like you cant live without her you can I feel the same way but I know I have loved before and I can again in time so can you if you feel you can work it out and move forward with a good result go for it this is not the first time this woman has done this to me you see we have been down this road and all I can say is this was the last time I already know she will make an attempt to come back at some point but I can not let her as much as it hurts and I want to be with her were humans too we deserve better than the pain that type of situation puts us in most times they do it once they will do it again I also have found that in my experience the more beautiful she is on the outside the person in that beautiful shell is ugly rotten there are girls that are beautiful all the way around you just have to be willing to look for them cause they are out there then you gotta be smart enough not to let them get away no matter what no woman is out of any mans league thats just what ppl say that dont have the confidence to get what they want dont feel like you have to accept being cheated on because your not gonna find someone better thats just not true and inner beauty is the way to go Ive had relationships with both and the the pretty ones always make life unbearable I have only met a small handful of women that were beautiful and not messed up in the head beyond repair I have met tons of girls I was not attracted to that by the end of a conversation were suddenly starting to be interesting eventually I become very attracted to and they have been the best girlfriends hands down this has been my personal experience I dont know if it helps but writing about it helps me and hopefully you werent like me and your woman was cheating with an old man this girl is super hot 26 and she is sleeping with an old man I mean like sixty thats just I hope thats not your situation its pretty damaging to my pride manhood whatever but in reality its not me what sane person does that I thought what if I did that to her with some old woman no thanks Im not into it even if I was Id be ashamed enough not too be open about it so if anything you can get a laugh out of it I used to always joke with this girl about her doin this when we watched the movie big daddy once and after that it was just a little joke we had apparently I was joking ok well I hope you come to solution that leaves you happy I am not happy about the choice I made but I just have to do it its hard to imagine the woman you love being with someone thats not you no matter how old or young either way it still hurts and makes you feel like life is over but u gotta take care of the little ones gotta be their dad nobody can be his or her dad better than u and dont go back into something you know is over but you dont want to accept it thats what I did even when she told me she loved me I knew she didnt but she would lie to me and i would pretend like she was telling the truth because I didnt want to accept it was really over for good at some point I knew I would have to so now is as good as any good luck to you I hope you get the best possible outcome just remember your not any less important than her if you let yourself slip into that idea they will walk all over you but I dont know I dont want to give bad advice thats just my experience everything I said is the way it happened for me but cant say for anyone else women are all a little bit crazy in some way guess we all are, Stay strong brotha. After 27 years of marriage, four kids, two grands, my husband packed up. I honestly never thought I would recover but it was a blessing in disguise because now I have my own home and am absolutely loving life. You may never get the answer you are looking for from your partner, but there are several common reasons why someone leaves a relationship. Im trying my hardest to not hate her for this, and I get that I havent been the greatest husband having working long distance and her being unemployed, but its the lack of fighting for it that hurts the most. I am reeling. He would attempt to hide his porn addiction by holing up in the loft in our garage when I was not home. It doesnt matter what they look like, the color of their skin, or the gender they identify with. The takeaway. But her decision is not deadly. But I give. As I realized in conversation with the neurologist I saw, often, when you are in protracted pain for a long time, your neurological system goes on automatic; its as if theres a signal for pain that gets stuck on ON!. I am caught between being committed to get through the bad stuff to get to the good stuff and being tired of all the conflict and chaos. You could emagine how I felt like someone ripped my heart out.I started telling him how can you go back after every thing that I have been nothing but loyal to him. But he hurts me everyday. Before he left, things were really rocky and we were fighting constantly, but we tried so hard to work things out. And he had started the attitude of battering , after unsuccessful attempts to control the situation, I reported to his mother and that worsen the situation. We did renovations at her cottage from laying new floors to painting and installing a new wood stove. What he really needs now is your understanding and support. About three months ago he had been out in the garage for a particularly long time (this is were he smokes). So I do understand what I am going through and why. Tonight while in bed at my place we had an argument. You have described your situation and it is exactly as I feel. !.Good By.I am trying to be happy but its not working.I dont know how a person could ever feel more lonely and empty and unhappy.Im trying.. "I felt as if the person I knew had died. Loads of people with mental health conditions are able to enjoy long lasting, fulfilling, happy relationships. I still love him and hate myself for it. He had decided that this life, our life, wasnt for him. If he can just walk no strings attached then I dont want him back. No matter I am around my kids but his stuff is all over her place. My husband left me four and a half months ago. This happens slowly and mysteriously until, one day, there are no common interests and someone gets bored and wants to move on. Ive no idea where he is or what hes doing. And, no, she doesnt want to give it to you, shes buying her way out. No one warned me that the "change of life" meant that I would be at war with my own body . Until recently she was a loving stepmother to them. Love hurts. My own inability to be nice cost me my life I found out that my wife had been backstabbing me with everyone she was close to. Jimminy Cricket, If youre 11 years older, are 50, and taking $700 a month and $25,000, no wonder shes dumping you. So because he wanted to embark on a full sexual relationship with his affair partner, he left the very next day and moved to a different city. Any views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Well one thing youve not mentioned is being with an alcoholic. I am devastated. She makes way more money then I do and she also said I smothered her. They may be confused. He said he dnt wanna b wid her or even me right now. 50 steps to see your kid and she couldnt be bothered, now I really lose faith. Im not sure, I was available to him for conversation,I very rarely went out because I work multiple jobs simultaneously, take care of the kids and the house. Dog depression is similar to the kind we as humans experience. If one person leaves and isnt willing to work on it, thats one thing. What felt worse is that he left after he found out that I was pregnant with his second child. My heart is breaking again as it did so many years ago when we separated. And I cant get past feeling devastated, crying when Im alone after work until I go to bed. We both came from dust and we shall return to dust. I have been divorced for 9 months. Is this forum legitimate? I was a stay Hm dad for 3 years and I think it caused the divorce. She says she wants to live by herself with her 3 kids cause they are better off without me.
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